Patience

I really hate this word. I can't stand the idea that I have to sit and wait on something that I want. The world is filled with impatience and I've adapted my lifestyle accordingly. In a world of fast-food, Internet, emails, telephone, etc -- who needs to wait on anything anymore? I want to talk to my friend who lives in Ohio, I call her. I want to see my nieces that now live in Tennessee, I can turn on a web-cam and see their adorable faces on my computer. TiVo is great! It enables us to record anything without tapes. It allows us the freedom to pause live TV when my husband receives a telephone call from the cutest little girl in Alabama who has to talk to her Uncle Keith.

With everything in the world moving away from the term "patience," why is it that God wants to shove us toward it? I waited 11 years to meet my husband. I had no choice. I dated other guys, sure, but they weren't the one that God designed for me and I wasn't about to settle just because I was a bit lonely and tired of waiting. When I met the man I knew, down to my core, that he was the one that God hand-picked for me, I didn't want to wait. I wanted to get married. I wanted to begin our life together.

And we did. 8 months after we met, Keith and I were married. It was a whirlwind courtship and engagement. In a lot of ways, now that we are married, we are still learning a lot about the other. It's been slow, with our own ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. This is the marriage God designed for me. For us. I know that. I trust that.

Now, at the age of 31, my mind begins to focus on children. My mother had me when she was 33, but I was the youngest of her three children. I don't want to wait TOO long to start my family. On the other hand, Keith and I have only been married a little more than 3 months. That's not enough time to mesh our lives together before adding a baby. So, what do we do? We get a dog.

Maggie has become our baby. She's 3 1/2 and the most adorable dog with the sweetest disposition. She has wiggled her way into our hearts and lives and neither of us can imagine our lives without her. We rescued her from a shelter and it was evident that she had been abused. Knowing that and knowing how hard her first few years of life were, we want to do everything possible to make her life now happy and carefree -- just as a dog's life should be.

Unfortunately, Maggie has only added fuel to my baby fire and made me want a child even more. My husband and I have talked about it and we have placed our faith totally and completely in God. We will not have a child until God wants us to have a child. We both believe that. Still, it's hard to wait. It's hard to wait until we've been married a year to start trying. Why a year? Because that's what society has deemed is a reasonable amount of time for young married couples to wait before having children.

Patience. Hurry up and wait. Be still. Those are hard words to swallow and I am at fault for trying to rush God on several occasions. Why? Life is short. Why not sit back and enjoy what God brings my way? Why not leave the worry and the anxiety to God and relax and enjoy the ride? That is my prayer.

Anyone that knows anything about me knows that I'm a huge Shakespeare buff. In one of my favorite comedies, Much Ado About Nothing, Benedick tells his love,: "Serve God. Love me. And mend." I can do that. Serve God. Love my husband. And mend my impatience to the will of the Lord.