Monday, December 11, 2006

Fork In The Road

Have you ever found yourself standing at a sort of cross-roads in your life? A place where you can turn to the right and follow this path or turn to the left and follow a path complately different? It's been over a month since my last entry and things haven't changed much -- except my frustration seems to be growing.
My longest running dream for my life has always been to teach Shakespeare at a university. In order to do so, I have to seek a PhD in my field, which is not a problem. I'm not afraid of school or a challenging work load. The problem with the PhD program is that it requires me to have Master's in English first, which I don't have. The classes that I would be taking at the local university do not count for any future degree programs. They are only for the teacher certification program. Yet another way that seems to be a huge waste of money.
In my search to find a program that meets ALL of my needs, I found a university close to my home. This school offers a Master's program that allows me to earn my teaching certificate as well. The program starts in the Summer, so I wouldn't feel rushed to complete the application process. It seemed perfect.
Then, I discovered that I had two pre-requisite courses that I had to complete before I could begin the program. Finding a school that offered these two classes during the hours that I could take them quickly became impossible. I studied other options, online classes, etc, but nothing panned out. I was still right back at square one!
By this time, I will be honest and say that I thought seriously about forgetting my dream and finding a new career path. Perhaps, this isn't what God wants for my life. I wish I could say that I still don't feel that is true, but I can't. The truth is, I just don't know. I don't know if I should go to the right or to the left. I feel lost. I feel like I'm floundering like a fish out of water.
I have faith that God has a plan for me. The details of that plan are just a bit fuzzy right now. So, I pray for clarity and strength -- both of which I am certain the Lord will provide -- in HIS time.

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