Life Ain't Always Beautiful

There is a song performed by Gary Allan entitled "Life Ain't Always Beautifu" and while nothing even remotely ugly or negative has happened in my life, that song popped into my head this morning. I thought about the words and my mind went instantly to Job and then I thought about David and then I thought Jesus Christ. There are so many examples in the Bible of how life can be bitter and hard and excruciatingly painful. There are also many, many examples of how life can be filled with peace and happiness.

A part of the song says:

"But the struggles make you stronger,
And the changes make you wise,
And happiness has it's own way,
Of taking it's sweet time."

I'm sure Job and David and even our Lord Jesus endured countless struggles and changes in their lives. I'm sure that it often seemed hopeless and everything but happy. Why is life like that? Why is that we even have to suffer at all? Why can't everything simply go our way?

Then, I reread the first 2 lines of the quote above and I have my answer. God is not content with leaving us the way we are. He wants us to grow and mature. An infant doesn't stay an infant long. They grow and learn how to crawl and then they take their first steps. Soon, they start school and then it's time to think about cars and college and dating. Life changes so quickly. The good can turn to bad in an instant just as the bad can change on a dime and be good again.

In the life of Job, he seemingly had everything. Wealth, property, reputation, and a large family. In the blink of an eye, everything was stripped from him. He lost absolutely everything with nothing remaining but the tattered clothes he wore on his back. His friends scoffed at him and told him it was because of his sin and he must repent. They didn't listen to his insistency that he had no sin. They didn't see the fact that God was testing Job's faith. Job stood strong and true, even while he cursed the day he was born. He never lost his faith in God and God restored him and everything to him.

David was a king who lusted after another man's wife and slept with her. He then killed her husband so that David could have her all to himself. Realizing his sin, David repented to God. God called him a "man after His own heart." After everything David did, when he turned back to God, he was still a man after God's heart. David kept his faith. Sure, he faltered, but he held onto his belief in God.

Jesus Christ was sinless. He led a perfectly sinless life. He never once lied, stole, felt lust, gave in to anger or murder, or took God's name in vain. He held true to all the things that God commands of His people. That doesn't mean that Christ was not tempted to lie or steal or lust or hate or murder. Satan made sure that He was tempted. Satan came hard and long at Jesus, but Jesus kept His faith and He remained true to God.

Beofre He was arrested, Christ prayed that God would remove what was before Him and let Him live. He didn't want to die on the cross. He didn't want to pay the penalty for the sins of man when He had committed NONE. He didn't want to suffer. He prayed for that to pass over Him three times, but he still remained true to God -- even though it cost Him His life.

When Christ hung on the cross, He looked up into the sky and asked, "Father, why have You forsaken me?" God had turned his eyes off Jesus. He couldn't bare to look at His Son on that cross, not because of the pain and agony that Jesus certainly felt, but because Jesus was now covered with sin. He took on the sins of man and it made Him ugly and displeasing to God -- even though He remained obedient until death.

Sin is ugly. Sin is painful to God. Sin separates man from God. Jesus is that bridge. He stands on God's right side and prays for His children. He speaks to God on our behalf. He is our intecessor. He is our mediator. He is the only way we can get to God. The perfectly sinless and Holy way to God.

Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down
It can break your heart

LIfe ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road
At the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way
Of taking it's sweet time

No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Dear God, help me to appreciate life for everything it has to offer. Help me not only endure the struggles I face, but also embrace them, for there is something I need to learn through the struggle. Do whatever it takes to make me wise and make me more like you, no matter how ugly or painful it might be. My faith is in You. My strength is in You. My hope is in You. My shelter is in You. Thank you for loving me and thank you for forgiving me. In Jesus' name and for His Glory I pray, Amen.

Imminent

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines "imminent" as: "ready to take place." This past Sunday, the pastor at the church my husband and I attended talked about the second coming of Christ as being imminent -- ready to take place. He read from Matthew 3 where John the Baptist prepares the way for Christ. he urges those listening to him to repent and be ready. Matthew 3:2 says, "repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand."
The pastor's message talked about Christians living as if this was their last moment or day on earth. He urged us to live as though Christ would return before we even walked out of the church building. What does that mean? How can Christian live as though the rapture is coming and they will very soon be no more on this earth?
That made me think about what I needed to do to act as if my life could end at any moment. Some may thing that's morbid or a dark way of thinking, but I think that's how John the Baptist urged the Christians of his day to live and I'm no different. I think about the things that I do to please my own flesh instead of pleasing God. I think about the things that I spend the most time on rather than stopping to spend a little time with God each day. I think about the family that's in Heaven waiting for me and those countless multitudes that I will meet for the first time in Glory and know.
I think about what it will be like to spend an eternity worshipping God and praising His name. I think about the Streets of Gold and the Mansions I'll see. I think about all the Saints from the Old and New Testament that I'll finally meet and sit down by the Crystal Sea and talk with. I think about seeing Jesus from that moment until eternity.
Then, I think about what I've done on earth to ensure that as many people that I can help will have the same opportunity that I will have in Heaven. Have I been a good witness? Is there someone in my life that I need to pray continuously for? Yes. There are several people that I know that are lost and dying. They are imminent danger of spending an eternity in Hell. Will I be able to hear Jesus tell me, "Well done, my good and faithful servant" when He greets me in Heaven? While I could never buy my way into Heaven, have I done enough for His Glory?
Matt 3:12 says, ". . . gathering His wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire." All this means is that Christ will one day separate our works and judge us for our actions. He will keep the things we do for His sake and throw the things done not for His sake into the "unquenchable fire." A fire that could never be quenched. A fire that is always hungry. As a Christian, I long for the things I have done to be pleasing to the Lord and held in His barn instead of tossed into the fire.
Lord, I pray that you will give me the strength and the wisdom to witness in Your name. Bring the lost that You want me to touch and guide me through the Holy Spirit. I am a willing vessel that You may use to Your Glory and Yours alone. For whatever I do, I give You the Glory and the Honor forever. Until we meet in Heaven. Your faithful servant. Amen.

Write and Wrong

I'm a writer for several reasons. I use writing as a tool to relieve stress. I enjoy getting lost in the world that my imagination has created -- even if it is for a short while. I use writing to express my thoughts and my feelings. Sometimes, I express myself far better by writing what I have to say than by actually saying it. Those who know me well know this to be true. I also use writing to be heard. In a world as populated as ours, it is important to find a way to be heard. Even if you are only heard by a few.
I read a story last week on China. It talked about how the gender population was swiftly shifting toward a more male dominated society. While the fact that China has a somewhat degrading view of woman is not a secret, it has become apparent just how far they are taking this. While the government opposes abortion based on sex, the people of China are still aborting their baby if they discover it is a girl.
In the eyes of the Lord, abortion for any reason is wrong and I believe that. I believe that from the moment of conception, that fetus is a human being. A human being that God created and gave to the parents as a gift. Aborting the fetus, for whatever reason, is murder. The Bible says so and that's all the proof I need. Where does the Bible say it?

Ecclesiastes 11:5 says "As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
Psalm 139:13 says "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."
Exodus 20:13 says "Thou shalt not murder."

Psalm 139 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I read it again this morning and thought about God and how many things I love about Him. I was recently asked the question "Which of God's attributes do you feel is the most important and why?" Without even thinking, I said His unconditional love. As humans, we look at all the imperfections of those around us and judge them on what they do or do not do. In Psalm 139, God SEES everything we do. He doesn't miss anything. He knows when I sit and when I stand. He knows when I'm trying to hide from Him in the darkness. He knows my thoughts before I do. He knows my prayers before I even speak them.

Take a moment and read just a bit of Psalm 139:

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,'
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." That verse alone says so much about God and how much He loves us. When an expectant mother learns that she is pregnant, her thoughts will eventually turn toward what that child will be like. What will he/she look like? Will they grow up to make a difference in the world? The beautiful thing about it is that God already knows! He knows what that child will look like, for He formed them in the womb. He knows what they will grow to become because He knows how many days the child will see before one of them even begins. It's comforting to know that I don't have to do anything. God is in control and He knows everything about me --- YET He loves me despite of what He knows! Unconditional Love. That's something that humans do not possess and will never possess while on earth.

Verse 17 says:

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.
If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

"Lead me in the way everlasting." That is my prayer. Search my heart and know me. See if there is anything in my life that displeases You and get rid of it. Make me an empty vessel that You fill with Your love and Your grace and Your forgiveness. Fill my heart with hatred for those who hate You, Lord. Do not allow me to be near those who speak of You with evil intent and misuse Your name. Count them as my enemies, Lord. Lead me in the way everlasting.

Memories and Resolutions

My mind has been on my grandfather lately. He passed away more than ten years ago, but I still think about him often. He was the only grandfather I ever knew since my father's father passed away a few weeks before I was born. My grandfather taught me so much and he loved to talk about the old days.
There's an old country song by the Judds called "Grandpa, Tell Me About The Good Old Days" and I love listening to that song. It reminds me of my grandfather and the way he used to talk about his brothers, his wife, his children, the first time he ever saw a plane flying in the air. My grandfather had so much to share and he would gladly do so to anyone that would take the time and listen.
I wish I would have listened to him more, but I'm also thankful for the time and memories that we did share. He was a good man that loved his wife so deeply.
Most of my memories of my grandmother are sad ones. I was really young when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. This sickness riddled her body and mind, making any future happy memories few and far between.
My mother and her three sisters took turns taking care of my grandmother. My grandpa absolutely refused to place my grandmother in a nursing home. He wanted her home. He wanted her close. It was a promise they made to one another and he had planned to keep his end of that promise.
I would go with my mother on the weekends that she took care of grandma. Partly to see grandpa and partly to see my cousin who was only two years younger than me. I helped my mother when she needed my help and then spent the rest of the time listening to grandpa or playing with Jamie. Jamie and I grew up together and I missed her when we moved away. Those weekends were special for me and I have several wonderful memories that I cherish.
Jamie and I grew up in a small town. A town where people didn't lock their doors and kids felt safe walking home from school. A town where everyone knew everyone and secrets were hard to keep. A town that had values and believed in going to church on Sunday and being kind to one another. It wasn't perfect. No town could ever be that. I can remember going fishing with my grandfather and helping him in the corn fields. I remember the tractor he used to plow the fields and the sunflowers that covered one side of his yard. I can remember the countless nights that Jamie and I stayed up talking and laughing. That small town holds a lot of fond memories for me and even though I no longer live there, it is a very special place to me.
When I was 15, Jamie was diagnosed with Leukemia. About six weeks later, she was gone. She was only 13. Jamie was my cousin and my best friend. I never got to say good-bye and that's something that has haunted me the past 16 years. The pain I felt when Jamie died was more than I ever imagined I could feel. I couldn't believe that God would take a 13 year old kid. Why? I was angry and hurt and very confused.
My grandfather cried with me. He hurt for me. I remember him telling me that "this too shall pass." He always said that. I didn't believe him then, but the pain did pass. Her memory is not gone, but I can think about her now without pain or tears or regret. We had a great friendship. One that I will treasure the rest of my life. His words rang in my ears on the night that he passed away. He left an emptiness in my heart that I still feel today, but I also feel proud to be his granddaughter. I feel privileged to have so many memories of a wonderful man in my heart.
Yesterday morning while on my way to work, I noticed a car on the side of the road with their flashers on. As I passed by, I saw an arm trying to wave me down. I put on my brakes and intended to turn around, but I stopped. It's a little past six in the morning and still very dark outside, despite the full moon. I'm a woman alone in a car. I have no idea who the other person is or if they are truly in need of assistance. I keep going. I picked up my phone to call 911 when a car in the opposite lane slowed down and, I assumed, stopped to help the person. Everyone told me that I did the right thing, but I still felt horrible. Why did that warning flash through me commanding me to continue to work and not stop? What is wrong with the world when I can't stop and offer assistance for fear that I might be kidnapped, raped, or murdered?
It's now 2007 and the times have changed so much that I long for the good old days. No, they weren't perfect. They had their own troubles and heartaches, but I don't like the fear and the doubt. I don't like having to be cautious whenever I want to help a stranger on the side of the road.
Is this the way God intended for us to live? In fear of our fellow man? In the Garden of Eden, God walked with Adam and Eve. He walked with them. He often sat and talked with them. When sin entered the world, He couldn't find them. Sin created a divide between man and God. A divided that God didn't want, but still knew would happen. A divide that He already knew how to bridge.
We just celebrated Christ's birth followed by a celebration of a new year to come. What will the new year bring? The negative side in me says that it will bring more tragedy, more fear, and more sadness. The positive side says that I will do all that I can to shed light in the darkness and bring hope to those without. I want the old days of trust among fellow man. I want to feel free to stop and help anyone that may need it without fear of what might happen to me. I want my children to live in a better world -- not worse.
The new year is a time of resolutions and change. My resolution, first and foremost, is to walk closer with the Lord. How can I expect to make any difference in the world if I'm not connected to the Word? How can anyone?